What is Dating Culture in Denmark?

December 26, 2018

We all are conditioned to seek love with the ultimate goal of recreation, growth, and survival. We are conditioned to behave in a certain way to match the perceptual expectations and be a perfect match as a partner. This is universal, but if you are in Scandinavia, specifically in Denmark, and looking to find a perfect date, then you have to change your expectations and break perceptual barriers. Mr. Right of America could be Mr. Wrong while dating a Dane. So, the game is in the understanding of Danish behavior and socio-cultural traits. Learn the rules first, then master the art o that you could remain Mr. Right even in Denmark.

It is a fact that the majority of Danes meet their future life partners at the workplace, but when it comes to dating, it is a different ball game altogether. This becomes especially more important when you have strict laws to deal with sexual harassment. It is very tough for a non-Dane to find that fine line beyond which it would be considered harassment.

Frankly, there is no such thing as “unlucky in love”, it is all about emotional intelligence when it comes to dating and related mistakes. If you are in Denmark, the chances of committing that mistake are relatively very high. The rule is simple here, don’t head to a bar or restaurant for the first meeting. Avoid giving too much time out of context and show your interest more than being interesting. This is how you remain Mr. Right even in Denmark.

Here is some simple rule to abide by if you are falling in love with someone:

Basic Socio-Cultural Understanding

Every culture has its own set of undefined rule which everyone follows, consciously or unconsciously. Women are expected to play certain specific role and men are expected to act in a particular manner to build the basic trust for dating. This isn’t the case in Denmark. In simple words, Danes don’t know what is “the first date”. Unlike the traditional approach of guys making the first move, asking her out, exchange numbers, in Denmark these sets of expectations of no value as women are equally progressive in making the first move. You have to be very open about your emotions to get the right response.

Another big factor about the behavior of Danish males is that the common notion of Dating courtesy doesn’t make much sense here. If you think your Dane would be romantic in the classic sense, you are wasting your time. Danish males don’t take initiative, and females normally take the initiative. So, your expectation of fancy dinner and wine might not find admirers in Denmark.

Equality is not just in rule books but in social behavior that makes Denmark unique. Don’t get surprised if your date comes forward to share the bill after the date. Don’t expect your Danish man to pay your restaurant bill, either.

Avoid Western Risks

It is illegal to touch your co-workers, without consent. It is good to be safe and secure and restrict your touch to hand and shoulder only. The core idea is to stop work-related sexual exploitation. There is no room of sexual favor or dis-favor at the workplace. So, if you are in Denmark you cannot be careless in making the first move. It doesn’t mean Danes play “hard to get” game often. You have to be emotionally intelligent and sensitive to cues and comfort factor. A “no” in Denmark is an absolute “no”. You simply cannot push beyond the “no”.

Be Natural

Unlike the preconceived notion of “special” about a date, Danes love to keep it simple as a normal thing. Danish people find it uncomfortable and feel under pressure if you are arranging a date in some five-star palace. So, if you are planning to date a Danish, try to keep it simple and normal. S/he will be very natural in reaction and response. The best part about Danish culture is that you will not be forced to change your appearance to impress someone. It is all about being honest and true to self. Those sexy looking oozing outfits are a total no-no here.

Frankly, Danes don’t care much about look and style. They love the effortless appearance of a fit body, natural shine, healthy diet, and classic clothes. If you are getting ready to date a Danish man, then you should look natural with minimal makeup and elegant dressing.

Be Direct in Expression

There is no room of flowery and deceptive language when you are dealing with Danes. This is the first clue they look for to judge your intent. You have to be very direct and polite in your communication and intent. It is all about the weight of words and not the volume of words. Sincerity and honesty are valued most. They believe the foundation of relationship should be on strengths of truth not the weakness of lies. So, if you are planning to date a Dane and want to build a healthy relationship in the future you should be very open in expressing your view and listening to what other is saying.

It takes time for non-Danes to be so straightforward. So, it is better to be diplomatic in your approach. Be a little humorous to make your communication lighter. Keep your ego aside, as you might get some honest feedback that could hurt your emotion. If you want to date a Danish girl avoid that flowery appreciation as these aren’t your feeling but practice. You have to find the fine line between directness and rudeness. So, the style of communication is the key here.

Unknown to Known

The rule of proximity finds value in Danish culture, as people love in mingle among themselves and avoid committing to unknown. If you want to date a Dane, you have to be around for a long period to build familiarity and remove the tag of a stranger. It doesn’t mean Danes are conservative in their approach towards sex with strangers. They are quite open for casual hookups and one-night stands. But, when it comes to relationship they prefer dating with knowns.

If you want to date a Dane, you have to be patient and accept the evolving situations. Your commitment and honesty could make a huge difference in building long term relationships. Let it start from a healthy friendship and then let it mature for a better understanding. If you have a common friend, then it would be easier for you to move forward.

Time is Precious

In Dane society, it is a crime to waste own and other’s time. You simply cannot date with Dane if you don’t value time. Punctuality is one of the most significant factors if you want to date a Dane. Be honest, if it is unavoidable to be late it is better to communicate that effectively so that significant others could use that time constructively. If you want to feel the pulse of time in human then it is better to be in the company of a Dane. You will fall in love with his/her time planning.

Communicate Effectively

It is not the outer appearance but the inner self that gets more appreciation from a Dane. The best way to show your inner self is to communicate effectively. You have to be comprehensively competent to build a healthy long-term relationship with Danes. Your hold on international issues, economics, advance science, politics, and above all global challenges will make a huge difference. So, build a habit of reading about issues and have some liberal opinion on such issues. Your passion for knowledge and learning will help you build amazing repo.

Passion of Alcohol

You can blame mental framework, but alcohol works effectively in handling temporary anxiety. Danes are relatively less talkative and pay too much attention to details. A few bottles of beer is enough to help them open and be more friendly. The challenge is to bring your Dane friend to a bar, as they normally prefer cafes to interact with strangers. If you are planning to date a Dane, then you should brush up your knowledge about alcohol and wine as they love to discuss what they eat and drink. However, you should keep the basics of control in your mind.

Going Public

Danes love their privacy the most. If you are dating a Dane you should be very particular about making your relationship status public. You should better talk with your partner before making it public. If the situations demand you both could decide to make it public jointly to respect each other personal space. If you and your date are co-workers then you should inform your human resource department in advance to avoid any unnecessary issues.

The dating culture in Denmark is relatively more informal, less structured and more open as compared to other cultures. The free-minded ideology helps Danes to be more open in acceptance of public display of affection. There is no such thing as judgment bias when it comes to dating and sex. The human mind is conditioned to fill in the blanks, meaning in absence of information mind tries to create the full picture using inputs from memory. If you are dating a Dane, you should have to be very open in providing al possible information through behavioral cues, communication, and of course the intent so that your date could build picture you desire to imprint in mind. Your effort should be honest and sincere. No one is blind in dating!